The Bell Tolls...

I'm not really sure what I'm going to write about tonight. The most important thing that happened today is that I was privileged to serve Paige, and Wes' family. It was a very somber lunch to say the least. I asked the hostesses not to seat me while I served the party because first of all, I was so overcome with heartache, but secondly, giving them an immaculately served meal was the only thing I could do at that moment to help them through their grief. I still cannot imagine what Paige is going through, nor can I even begin to understand the pain it must cause a parent to bury a child. It is something I hope I or any other loved one in my life never has to do.

I think that when something tragic like this occurs, it is a common human behavior to make the tragedy one's own. I'm not sure if it's some sort of defense mechanism inside the brain to deal with the confusion and emotions associated with such intense information, but I was dismayed at some of the reactions of those around me. (i.e., while watching Grey's Anatomy with the family on Thanksgiving night, Merideth was talking to the Chief Resident about how she was so upset that she would always be remembered as the one who delivered the news to the wife of a Paramedic who was dying; meanwhile, the wife was hysterically saying her goodbyes to the dying husband! Mike, who was watching, even said out loud, "Merideth,it's not about you!") I was so saddened by those who instead of trying to empathize with those directly affected with the news, were sending texts to everyone they knew to be the bearer of it. I was even a little angered with those I knew barely knew Wes, who were falling apart without any regard to his poor wife who is a widow at age 21 or his family who found him in his bed already gone.

Empathy. I suppose that's the word of the day. Empathy is being able to understand and share in another's feelings. It's my prayer for myself that I can have the clarity and awareness to be able to share and understand another's pain instead of taking it from them, and for selfish reasons, making it my own.

"No man is an Island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the Continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee." -John Donne